Home fear Home

The door slams and i know hes gone

Sounds of glass crashing burns me ears

The sound of your tears breaks my heart

I hear your footsteps running up the stairs

I wonder how everything became what it is now

Was it my fault, did i do something wrong

Was i always arguing and never listening

Was i the reason all the fights begin

Did i cross the line and come in between



The knob on my door turns and i shiver inside

I see your shadow from beneath the bed

I drain out your scream but your still near

I dare not move but fear more not doing so

I see a face and can't recognize who it is

I feel pain and i remember it well

I shut my eyes but still see my life flash by

I slowly open them noticing fresh scars

I try so hard to not cry

My heart aches more then anything else



A little voice tells me to be strong

A little voice tells me I'm not in the wrong

A little voice tells me soon all will be fine



I look in the mirror and hate what i see

I speak and hate what i hear

I think that nothing will ever change

I decide to run then continue living in fear

Run as fast as i can

As far as i can

Anywhere but here

Why cant i Be

Standing out on the edge

I feel the urge to jump

I think to myself what more do i have

I'll never come first

I'll never be the best

My wishes shall remain wishes

My hopes nothing but hopes

All but nothing true in reality

Just a fragment of imagination

A dream within a dream

I hear the waves crash down below

I'm reminded of where i am

Ithink of those whom i love

I wonder if they love me

I think of those that i care

I wonder if they care for me

A one way train ride is how it feels

All but nothing true in reality

Just a fragment of imagination

A dream within a dream

The sun has slowly begun to hide

I turn and beyond the horizon i can see

A boy running freely under the blood orange sky

Laughing and smiling, he seems but only happy

Not knowing at all the existence of hurt and of pain

He only makes wishes and hopes they turn into reality

Like him,

Why cant i be?

Searching for someone

Searching for a friend
But not an ordinary friend
Searching for a diary
A secret sharing diary

Someone who knows what your thinking
Someone who finishes your every sentence
Someone who picks you up before you fall
Someone who gives you spaces without really leaving

Looking for a pillow
A pillow that cradles me well
Looking for a mirror
A mirror reflecting someone else

Someone who surprises you when you least expect it
Someone who takes you up on every dare
Someone who understands mistakes are sure to happen
Someone who accepts you more then you do yourself

Where does someone start their search
How does someone know who is the perfect canidate
What does someone need to do to play the game right
When does someone know they've fullfiled thier every need
Who really knows the true meaning of being in love

Butterflies : That good old feeling

Ive always been one to rush into love

Believing its real when in fact its not

Not worrying of being hurt turning my heart to dust

Happy to settle just for a tiny sweet rush

After what seemed like years of searching for someone to trust

I mat someone who proved that not everything was pure lust

He made me feel like i mattered and i was on top of the world

6 months later he cheated and sent me into a downward spiral

Slowly i tried to believe id overcome my sorrow

Pretending my heart didn't shatter into a million pieces

Meeting new faces i pretended to be at one with my soul

Till i remembered crying all those tears, i slowly turned cold

Loved ones made me feel strong

Through them i finally moved on

Finding someone new was now bottom of the list

Falling in love thou remained a secret wish

That secret wish started coming true without me noticing

While out one night i slowly realized something strange and felt an ache

Started as usual with awkward glances and tennis matches of grins

Break point came and i surprised myself by making the first spoken line

A meet up the next day was officially a first date

Filled with nerves i tried effortlessly not to shake

More dates came, meaning the first was great

2 months later i realize it was butterflies i felt and not an ache

Truth be told here i go again. Fallen in love and blaming it on fate

Butterflies please tell me I'm not making another mistake

Stranger

I stand here in front of you
I recognize everything that is you
I recall the first time our eyes mat
It was a mix of warmth and smiles

Life goes on reality comes and things change
I must learn to accept nothing stays the same
Looking thru your eyes my heart begins to ache
Your love for me and life has lost its

Missing is the soul that once kept me whole
Gone are all traces of whom i fell in love with and holed
A complete stranger is what stands in front me now
Someone in need of help someone bitter and cold

As I place my hand on the mirror
I wonder what has happened to me
Wonder Where have i gone